Honey, can we put the top down?

A few days ago I saw the perfect image of what it looks like to have a selfish relationship.  I laughed to myself at the time and then decided it would be a great post.  Specifically, I am going to write this about marriage, but it will apply in most areas to other relationships as well.

I was driving home from working a weekend at camp and as I am coming around a turn there is an old Mercedes-Benz convertible sports car approaching me.  As the car gets closer, I can't help but notice the sheer enjoyment on the driver's face.  He is a middle-aged man who is obviously in love with his car.  But when you paired the car up with a nice day, top down, hand out the window, this guy was wearing a smile like the Kool-Aid Man.

In the passenger seat, however, sat another story.  In the passenger seat sat a girlfriend or wife who was not enjoying the scene quite so much.  She was hunched over close to the dash with one hand deflecting the wind from her eyes and the other on top of her head holding her hair in place.  I could tell as we passed at 40 mph that there was a lot of tension in that car.  By the unhappy face the woman was making, it was easy to tell that she was bothered while the man seemed to be on top of the world.

As I continued home, I began to think about some of the selfish things that I do that puts distance between me and my wife.  I can make excuses about it being my human nature to look out for myself first.  I have become really good at explaining myself away to the point of seeming correct (so my wife tells me).  After all is said and done, what we are really telling someone when we are selfish is that we are more important than they are.

A relationship is oftentimes like a game of tug of war.  Husband and wife pick up opposing sides and begin pulling in their own direction.  They pull and pull hoping to topple the opposition.  While some of the pulling is done intentionally some is done subconsciously.  The goal seems to be to get the middle of the rope outside of the playing boundaries in favor of your side.

Tug of war is a great illustration for relationships.  The goal of the game however, needs to be slightly adjusted.  Instead of trying to pull the other team over and "win" the game (believe me, this is not winning in marriage) our goal should be to keep enough tension in the rope to keep the other team from falling over while you both work together to keep the middle of the rope within the playing boundaries.

Selfishness is an ugly thing and the deeper a relationship gets the uglier and more evident selfishness becomes.  What about selfishness in your relationship with Christ?  Are you trying to play tug of war with an Almighty God?  Thoughts to think on...