Honey, can we put the top down?

A few days ago I saw the perfect image of what it looks like to have a selfish relationship.  I laughed to myself at the time and then decided it would be a great post.  Specifically, I am going to write this about marriage, but it will apply in most areas to other relationships as well.

I was driving home from working a weekend at camp and as I am coming around a turn there is an old Mercedes-Benz convertible sports car approaching me.  As the car gets closer, I can't help but notice the sheer enjoyment on the driver's face.  He is a middle-aged man who is obviously in love with his car.  But when you paired the car up with a nice day, top down, hand out the window, this guy was wearing a smile like the Kool-Aid Man.

In the passenger seat, however, sat another story.  In the passenger seat sat a girlfriend or wife who was not enjoying the scene quite so much.  She was hunched over close to the dash with one hand deflecting the wind from her eyes and the other on top of her head holding her hair in place.  I could tell as we passed at 40 mph that there was a lot of tension in that car.  By the unhappy face the woman was making, it was easy to tell that she was bothered while the man seemed to be on top of the world.

As I continued home, I began to think about some of the selfish things that I do that puts distance between me and my wife.  I can make excuses about it being my human nature to look out for myself first.  I have become really good at explaining myself away to the point of seeming correct (so my wife tells me).  After all is said and done, what we are really telling someone when we are selfish is that we are more important than they are.

A relationship is oftentimes like a game of tug of war.  Husband and wife pick up opposing sides and begin pulling in their own direction.  They pull and pull hoping to topple the opposition.  While some of the pulling is done intentionally some is done subconsciously.  The goal seems to be to get the middle of the rope outside of the playing boundaries in favor of your side.

Tug of war is a great illustration for relationships.  The goal of the game however, needs to be slightly adjusted.  Instead of trying to pull the other team over and "win" the game (believe me, this is not winning in marriage) our goal should be to keep enough tension in the rope to keep the other team from falling over while you both work together to keep the middle of the rope within the playing boundaries.

Selfishness is an ugly thing and the deeper a relationship gets the uglier and more evident selfishness becomes.  What about selfishness in your relationship with Christ?  Are you trying to play tug of war with an Almighty God?  Thoughts to think on...

The True Story of the Cross

Many people ask the questions, "Why did Jesus have to die?  Couldn't God just forgive us?"  Let's look at these questions and see if we can find a way out for Christ.

Start by thinking about when you have done wrong or someone has done wrong against you.  In each of these cases, whether physical or emotional, there is a price to be paid for the wrong.  Let's take a physical example.  If you loan someone your car to run an errand and that person wrecks your car, there is a price to be paid.  That price can be paid in one of two ways.

First, you, the owner of the vehicle, can hold the driver responsible for the damage done and insist that they make retribution for the cost of the vehicle.  This is understandable and fully within your rights.  Or, secondly, you could excuse the mistake of the driver and show them grace and forgiveness.  This person is indebted to you but you may choose to free the driver of the debt.  Again, fully within your rights.  I want you to see, however, that either way there is a price to be paid and it doesn't just go away with forgiveness.

The same is true with us and our sin.  It has been totally forgiven and it is completely taken away but that is not possible without the cross on which Christ died.  Timothy Keller understands this concept in Reason for God when he writes "There was a debt to be paid - God Himself paid it.  There was a penalty to be born - God Himself bore it.  Forgiveness is always a form of costly suffering."  There is no free way out of debt.  Many people in financial debt have tried to find it and have come up empty.  The same is true of spiritual debt...it must be paid for.

I'll leave you with one more thought on this by John Scott in The Cross of Christ; "The essence of sin is we human beings substituting ourselves for God, while the essence of salvation is God substituting Himself for us.  We...put ourselves where only God deserves to be; God...puts Himself where we deserve to be."

This is true forgiveness and true grace.  So to answer the questions directly; no, Jesus did not have to die, but someone did, because there was a price to be paid.  And, no, God couldn't just forgive us.  While he is all-powerful and full of mercy he is also just.